I’m so, so glad that wifehood and motherhood are for ever occupations. The Lord’s design is always so perfect.
Anybody that knows me well enough, knows that I’m pretty much a quitter. Started teaching myself how to play the piano about 10 years ago, but progress was slow and it wasn’t clicking, so, I quit. Since being married I’ve “brainstormed” a number of ways to try to help bring in an income. Making and selling soap was such a passionate idea for me, but after getting all the supplies together and making a few batches, I got the blues about working with poison in a house full of children, so, I quit. Then I thought of selling crochet items on Etsy or Ebay, but in looking for inspiration on Pinterest and Etsy for what sells, everyone else’s things looked so much more pretty than anything I could ever dream up, so I pretty much quit on that idea, but tried selling a couple hats on Ebay and when they didn’t sell I quit for sure. I love to write, but could never earn an income that way, because my mental faculties are so weak that it takes me a long time just to formulate a nice little page (anyone that knows me can attest to my stammering ways, too!) so that idea died in its cradle, as well.
And to be perfectly honest with you, there have been times as a mother that I literally cried out in exhaustion, utter stress, and at-the-end-of-my-ropedness, “I QUIT!” But I know that I can’t, and that’s where the grace of God has come in to grow me where I haven’t let Him teach some of the same lessons in other areas. I’ve always quit before ever really trying, because the learning part and the slow improvements are so very ill-savoured to this rather impatient woman, and not being anywhere near as good as someone else in the same field just injured my pride.
He knew I needed to learn true submission, true service, so He made me a wife. He knew I needed to learn patience, so He made me a mother. I can’t quit my vocation as a mother because I’m not as good as some other mother out there, but am forced to grow. And Oh! it is a painful process! It’s just so much slower than I’d like! I want to be perfect now! to be the meekest little thing now, without all this trial stuff.
There have been so many times I’ve just wept and wondered why it is that I changed so much after getting married and becoming a mother, how it is I could have turned from a relatively quiet young lady to the too-easily-frustrated woman I have too often been, but the answer is that all that ugly stuff has always been there but I was never tested enough to bring it out. But now that it’s out, now that the humbling has occurred, and I see how very, very destitute of virtue I am without Him, His grace and love come in to wash me out and snip out the bad parts. It is so hard, but it is so good. The Lord really is SO good. He always knows just what we need.
And just to clarify, I don’t want to quit my job. 😉